Friday, August 29, 2008

Friday Five

Singing Owl over at Revgals hosts this week's Friday Five. Wow, haven't done this in a WHILE.

1. Tell us about the worst job you ever had.
Okay, the worst is a tie between being a first-time waitress at a cheesey corporate restaurant, and being an "optician's assistant" at my uncle's optometric office. Being his neice, he gave me responsibility that I probably shouldn't have had. Ah, the poor souls who had me to adjust their glasses or convince them which lens was the most suited to them. As for the waiting tables, I was HORRIBLE. Great at the social part, awful at the multitasking when it got busy.

2. Tell us about the best job you ever had.
Working at the Guthrie theater in Minneapolis. I acted in several plays there and it was a wonderful time and a wonderful place.

3. Tell us what you would do if you could do absolutely anything (employment related) with no financial or other restrictions.
be a priest in the Episcopal church. Or be a singer/songwriter and perform in coffee houses and small venues.

4. Did you get a break from labor this summer? If so, what was it and if not, what are you gonna do about it?
My break from labor came in the form of a week-long christian formation conference. The labor I had a break from was being a mom. The conference represented labor to some folks, but to me it was a SPA.

5. What will change regarding your work as summer morphs into fall? Are you anticipating or dreading?
Huge transition as husband goes back to work and children start school. I'm anticipating this very much. It feels like a new phase of life.

Bonus question: For the gals who are mothers, do you have an interesting story about labor and delivery (LOL)? If you are a guy pal, not a mom, or you choose not to answer the above, is there a song, a book, a play, that says "workplace" to you?

My labor with my second child went smoothly and quickly. I got to the hospital and informed the nurse that I most certainly wanted an epidural. BUT (and I didn't know this could happen) I got stuck between anesthesiologist shifts. The guy had two hours to come and I was DYING. I would have been fine mentally if I knew there was a chance of him not making it in time but I was not prepared mentally and I was not on top of the pain. By the time he FINALLY got there I was almost fully dilated but they felt so sorry for me that they gave it to me anyway. By the time they got it in (it took 3, yes 3, tries of that huge long epidural needle -- I apparently have unusually small "potential spaces" in between my vertebrae --it was time to push the baby out. wasn't going so well and the baby's heart beat started to drop and the doctor got out the vacuum thing AND literally shoved with all his might on top of my stomach in the attempt to get the baby out quick. Luckily he was a large man and he did the job. And all was well. Phew! Craziness.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Fall on the way

Well it is the last days of summer. Especially since husband starts back with his teaching and my daughter begins Kindergarten. It has been a wonderful summer of spontaneity and traveling and now I'm ready for more routine and structure. This will be the first time in 6 years that I have 3 mornings a week to myself, as my little one will begin preschool. It's not that much time, but it is significant and I am a bit paralyzed by the possibilities. I suppose I'll calm down after a few weeks and not feel that it is so precious.

I'm reading a New Earth by Eckart Tolle. I resisted this for a long time because it seemed so pop new agey. I'm always suspicious of bestselling self help books. But I listened to a thoughtful interview with the author on Krista Tippett's speaking of faith and it made me want to read the book. I have found it very interesting. It's all about the ego and the unnecessary suffering our egos create in ourselves and others. Very thought provoking. Of course, I apply the concepts to my time of discernment and it feeds into my worry that the notion of priest is just an image-enhancing move for myself. But he says that awareness is the first step towards dissolving the ego, so perhaps my awareness of the ego needs of this vocation won't necessarily lead to its dissolution. It's still possible that priesthood is still the best use of my gifts and is truly linked to who I am. But it's also possible that it's not.

Other than that, I'm receiving pressure from the 3 other members of my little family to get a dog. They all really want one. But I'll be the primary care giver and I'm not too excited about the idea. Unless I can fall in love with the little guy. Hmmm....

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

belated blogging

A few readers have gently emailed me and asked....hello, where are you, are you all right. I so appreciate these touchstones of checking in. Yes, I'm fine. I've been so utterly uninspired to blog. Why is that? Well, probably because I'm feeling a little stuck. And I'm feeling shy about writing freely. Not sure why, but the blogosphere feels suddenly un-anonymous and scary. There's nothing I'm hiding, it's just that for some reason the personal element of the sharing feels exposing instead of freeing, lately.

Having a great summer, regarding the family. Lots of good family time. I went to a wonderful conference where I met lots of other female was wonderful to hear so many different stories. And the conference itself was challenging and thought provoking and it was AMAZING to have 5 days to myself.

This coming week I'm going camping with my little family. My hubbie and I used to camp a lot before we had kids. This will be our first family camping trip and I'm really looking forward to it.

Regarding discernment, my next meeting is in two weeks and I haven't met with the committee since APRIL. They met with my husband in July, but I am feeling very out of touch with the whole process. The process continues internally, of course, but I wonder how our meeting will go. I'm feeling (as usual) ambivalent. Some days I want to start school next fall, some days I want to pause everything.

I'm learning the guitar and LOVING it. LOVING it. I'm having coffe house fantasies of being a local acoustic artist. hee hee. yeah right.

I just came home from a morning talk with a friend. She's depressed and frustrated about being a stay at home mom with ambitions outside the home. She's brilliant and gifted. She gets very down on herself when she feels grumpy. It's sinful, so she says, and that the only path is one of self-sacrifice and suffering. Jeez. I told her I just can't wrap my thoughts around that philosophy and she asked me to find a biblical model that says otherwise. harumph. I'm tired of the notion that we have to suffer and deny our every desire to be true Christians. I mean, of COURSE we suffer, we're human, but I truly believe God wants us to live abundant lives of joy.