Tuesday, August 5, 2008

belated blogging

A few readers have gently emailed me and asked....hello, where are you, are you all right. I so appreciate these touchstones of checking in. Yes, I'm fine. I've been so utterly uninspired to blog. Why is that? Well, probably because I'm feeling a little stuck. And I'm feeling shy about writing freely. Not sure why, but the blogosphere feels suddenly un-anonymous and scary. There's nothing I'm hiding, it's just that for some reason the personal element of the sharing feels exposing instead of freeing, lately.

Having a great summer, regarding the family. Lots of good family time. I went to a wonderful conference where I met lots of other female priests...it was wonderful to hear so many different stories. And the conference itself was challenging and thought provoking and it was AMAZING to have 5 days to myself.

This coming week I'm going camping with my little family. My hubbie and I used to camp a lot before we had kids. This will be our first family camping trip and I'm really looking forward to it.

Regarding discernment, my next meeting is in two weeks and I haven't met with the committee since APRIL. They met with my husband in July, but I am feeling very out of touch with the whole process. The process continues internally, of course, but I wonder how our meeting will go. I'm feeling (as usual) ambivalent. Some days I want to start school next fall, some days I want to pause everything.

I'm learning the guitar and LOVING it. LOVING it. I'm having coffe house fantasies of being a local acoustic artist. hee hee. yeah right.

I just came home from a morning talk with a friend. She's depressed and frustrated about being a stay at home mom with ambitions outside the home. She's brilliant and gifted. She gets very down on herself when she feels grumpy. It's sinful, so she says, and that the only path is one of self-sacrifice and suffering. Jeez. I told her I just can't wrap my thoughts around that philosophy and she asked me to find a biblical model that says otherwise. harumph. I'm tired of the notion that we have to suffer and deny our every desire to be true Christians. I mean, of COURSE we suffer, we're human, but I truly believe God wants us to live abundant lives of joy.

6 comments:

Terri said...

The Church determined, back in the first or second century, that intentional martyrdom was heretical. They made this determination because so many people began to find ways to be martyred with hope of "heaven"....the decision then, and now, is life is a gift from God. We are to appreciate and enjoy life, not suffer through it. Yes, suffering happens. But we are not supposed to suffer as if that somehow makes us better people/Christians.

It all comes out of one of the unfortunate "atonement" theologies that describe what God was doing in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. As an alternate, Google and check out the atonement ideas of Kathryn Tanner....she may be helpful. Also, Paul talks about suffering but most other scripture does not...rather it is our interpretation of scripture that points Christians toward the sad notion that suffering is Christ-like...

Good to hear from you again. Have fun camping.

Grace thing said...

Yes, yes, Mompriest. And I first heard about Kathryn Tanner at this recent conference. I'll read more about her. I need your (and others) reassuring voices cause this one friend is persuasive and brings back all my old fears. You are RIGHT.

Charlotte said...

I find it very irritating when churchy people quote Paul at me. I prefer examples.
Mary (of Martha and Mary)
Mary of Magdalene - I mean if you are going to presume she was a prostitute, can't we also presume that she left that occupation (and the path that she was on) to freely follow Jesus? In fact, Jesus never coerces.
Priscilla and the other women of Paul's time/place (apologies, can't think that well this early in the morning)
The women of the old testament:
Rachel, who goes out of her way to steal her father's gods and thus kick him when he's down.
Deborah
Jael
All the women judges, prophets, general chicks who heard God's voice and did what they were told. They didn't sacrifice anything, as far as the text goes.
Have a great time camping!

Di said...

Hey, Grace,

You know, the Proverbs 31 woman does a heck of a lot outside the home. We often hear it preached as "good stay-at-home mom," but she's quite a businesswoman, too.

Terri said...

grace - I'm writing a multi-part series on my "process" - which might interst you...I'm on part 8, so you need to go back to Chrysalis part 1...

hope you are well...

Iris said...

I've been an uninspired blogger lately, too, and I can relate to your feelings of being exposed online. Good to have you back.