Phew! What a day! Much to write about.
The title for this post comes from a song by Charlie Peacock. I don't even fully know what it means, but I like it and it came to mind during a discussion I had last night. Two people were in a heated argument over what the church is. Person A thinks the church is the place for dialogue; that it is a safe place that can hold a broad spectrum of beliefs and that it is the only place in the world these days where there is hope for a bridge between the more "conservative" and the more "liberal." He thinks that the church should welcome people of less popular viewpoints and engage in dialogue. ie. a liberal church engaging in compassionate dialogue with people who feel GLBT folks should not be ordained. Person B thinks the church has been engaging in dialogue like this for many years and now it's time to take a stand for the "truth." This person is tired of listening to "narrow-mindedness" and is no longer willing to engage it. The church for Person B is a place for proclaiming the Gospel, but since the Gospel varies depending on who is doing the proclaiming and who is listening to the proclaiming, that you just have to pick the church you agree with and go there. Person A thought this was sad and hopeless and giving up on any hope of communion within a very divided church. And they weren't only talking about the Anglican Communion. What do you think?
Secondly, this morning was sad and beautiful and tumultuous. A young priest returned to work this morning from her 8 week maternity leave. It was her first day leaving her infant in the hands of a babysitter and she was a wreck when she got to church. Couldn't stop crying. Luckily, her first responsibility was leading a group of women, all mothers, so of course, we lent sympathetic ears. The rector has told her that he doesn't want her to bring the baby to work with her. He has good reasons. But seeing her today I just couldn't help but think that he was wrong. What's wrong with just bringing the baby for the next two months, while he's still an infant and nursing often? There's a nursery upstairs and she could have a babysitter up there with the baby. How to support her? Do we empower her to fight to bring the baby? Or do we support her decision to leave him at home. Of course, this decision is up to her. But painful to witness. It feels like a decision made for the efficiency and professionalism of a corporation rather than a church. What do you think?
And lastly, I've found a spiritual director! Hooray! Walking away from our meeting I felt like I could finally breathe. I felt peaceful and energized. Because she was affirming. She compared spiritual directors to midwives. I LOVE that. That notion that she will help birth this energy and spirit I feel welling up inside me that wants to be born but needs help. She also likened her role as "accompaniment." I love that. Like I am singing a melody and she will provide the underscoring, the texture, the support to my lyric. What I'm most excited about is that I feel comfortable just being myself with her; answering her questions honestly and openly...not trying to say the right thing. She talked about helping me find my voice. She brought up my acting background and suggested that to be a good actress, you have to be good at getting into the skin of the character and that it requires a certain empathy. Yes! I am good at this. But it has been hard to find my own voice, my own skin. She thinks that women have their mid-life crises in their 30s. That makes me feel better, cause yup, that's what it feels like, all right. On a theological note, she was there the night Bishop Spong spoke at our church and she, like me, so appreciated him. But she disagrees with his view of God. She feels like God does "get down in the nitty gritty." Amen. I don't want to give up that notion of the Spirit moving us, nudging us, and intervening in the world. Just because God hasn't intervened in tragic cases where we feel He should have, doesn't mean that God doesn't intervene ever. It's a mystery. It doesn't make sense. We will never cease to struggle with this, nor should we cease to. But why give up on the notion of God acting in the world?
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3 comments:
I'm sorry for the young priest. 8 weeks seems too short! I left my daughter two days a week beginning when she was about 12 weeks old, and that was murder. Was it really a sole decision on the part of the rector? In my Congregational world, that would play out differently.
Glad you found the spiritual director!
And on the first matter, the trouble is that churches are mirroring the divisions of society, where there is no reasonable dialogue at all anymore.
You've got a lot going in his post. So much to think about and process. I'm so glad that you've found a spiritual director that you can be real with.
My heart is breaking for your priest. I was fortunate to be able to bring my babies with me everywhere when they were very small. With my daughter, I had a baby swing and other baby furniture in my office. When they got mobile, I felt it was time to get outside help. It seems to me, from what you have written here, that this priest might need some folks advocating for her to the rector. She may feel like she's whining or unprofessional in asking for him to reconsider his position. Other people from the church might help him to enter the 21st Century.
The rector's decision is rotten, and reflects the overall anti-woman, anti-child tenor of our society. It would be a great gift for everyone concerned if the baby could come with her while small.
Songbird, it undoubtedly was his sole decision; the rector in the Episcopal system is basically the king (or occasionally queen, not in big churches like this much still). It's a job for life too, unless gross misconduct is proven or s/he chooses to leave.
Maybe he would be more open if she brought the childcare there so she could nurse with ease and they could bond, but her work would not be threatened in his mind?
Anyway, hurray for finding a wonderful spiritual director! One of the great joys of the universe and boy do you deserve her.
Can you please email me with her name and location and contact information? I am mentoring someone who is also entering an ordination discernment process and don't have anyone good to recommend to her.
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