What's your name?

I heard an awesome sermon in church this morning. And it got me thinking...the theme was: What is your name in Christ? The priest challenged us to find our name, but not the name of our petty selves, or even our idealized selves, but our true selves, our selves in God. And she confessed that once she got past her false names and obvious labels, she came up with her name as Christian. But then she realized that that word has so much baggage nowadays...it means completely different things, depending on who you are and who is hearing it. Unfortunately. So what's my name? On my best days, maybe it's something like She Who Sheds Light or She Who Encourages or She Who Gives Life but today my name was She Who is Full of Resentment and Dumps it on her Husband. or She Who is the Most Narcissistic Person Ever or She who threatens her children because she can't think of more creative parenting techniques. I know I'm way too hard on myself. I know that my name in God doesn't change even on days when I'm full of darkness. I know that it's hard being married to someone who has a dream job while I'm home with the kids. But I fear I have the grass-is-always-greener disease. I've been so selfish lately. I'm trying to find the balance between being authentic and being loving. I need to ask for what I need. I need to stand up for it. But I need to love my husband. I need to be happy for him that he is being fulfilled and challenged in his job. I can be such a baby sometimes. I don't want martyr to be part of my name.