Just some thoughts/questions from my morning at the hospital.
One kind older gentleman said, "I guess my faith just faded away. It shouldn't have, but it did. Maybe it will fade back someday." I like his wording...that faith can fade back. How does a chaplain respond to this comment? I nodded and told him I liked how he put that. I just listened and was present. He went on to describe his Calvary Chapel experience, where he and his wife attend. He loves the energy there. He clearly is uplifted by the music and the services. What more could I have said? My role at the hospital doesn't seem to be necessarily one of guiding people back to faith, but to be present to where they are at the moment. And that's what I did. But I wonder if I could have gently said something else...
I meet so many people who have left the church because they couldn't stand the hypocrisy they saw there. What is this? I hear it all the time. Is this a failure of the church? The notion that the leaders have to be perfect pure holy people, and not in fact human? What I like about my church is that the leaders are human and they bring their wholeness into their leadership and they encourage us to bring our whole selves into the pews and up to the altar for Communion. So often I hear of churches that only accept our Sunday bonnet perfect happy stable selves. And yet, and yet...leaders must really try to lead Christ-like lives. And I suppose this is the trouble...they so often fail and they are such public figures. I wish my church challenged us more regarding how we live our lives. The emphasis is on challenging us regarding social justice. We are challenged about how we spend our time, talent and treasure. Very very important. But I never hear about the importance of trying to be holy or pure for God and for others. I struggle with this holy pure expectation of clergy and of Christians in general. I think it has done a lot of harm. But Paul asks us to seek purity. How do we navigate this? How do we balance this?
I met a woman this morning whose faith was alive. But it was SO different than mine. She called herself "born again" and shared that she left the "corrupt Episcopal Church" because it was full of hypocrisy. (There we go again.) She told me she's sure the endtimes are near. I prayed with her and it touched her and we shared a sweet connection. But I felt a little false. As a volunteer hospital chaplain I meet many people from many different expressions of Christianity. But I struggled with this one...I did a lot of empathetic head nodding...again, where do I just listen and when do I gently nudge? It seems wrong to try to bring people to my personal faith, when there's is working just fine for them....
3 comments:
In an ironic twist of "fate" I actually entered the priesthood over issues similar to what you speak of here: I was doing volunteer work in the hospital and hospice (as a massage therapist/chaplain) and felt that I wanted to do "more.") (hah)...(the Holy Sprit must have laughed all the way back to God on that one)...I mean. As a massage therapist all I could do is listen and offer a gentle massage therapy treatment, but mostly listen. And I felt it wasn't enough. Later, after I'd been ordained awhile I realized that listening is the best thing we can do. And, yes, sometimes, a story will resonate and we can offer a bit more in the way of empathy and understanding. But mostly it's just in the listening - and - being listened too.
In terms of the hypocrisy stuff, well. I've come to think of that aasa code for, "You aren't worshiping in a way I am comfortable with" or "The Church is taking stands on issues I'm not comfortable with"...of course that simplifies it a bit...and, yes, clergy. or better yet, Bishops are being held to higher standard that the rest of humanity because of their leadership in the church. And in particular because of the whole notion of apostolic succession and what that means for a Bishop (a direct line in the ordination process and leadership role as the apostles)...so. held to a higher standard. But then, I guess, if we really looked at who were the disciples - Peter? James and John?? I mean, what are the examples of- guys who vie to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus - who want notoriety and power...and Peter who ran away???
All this is to say, you are right on target with your understanding of all of this, or so it seems to me...sorry to go on and on...
Thanks, Mompriest. You didn't go "on and on." I LOVE your words.
this is just a wonderful post. yes, we meet many wounded people. it's sad. And then others whose faith is alive, but not in the same way as ours.
I like the "faith fading away/fading back"... reminds me of a poem by Gerhard Frost... where he says to his friend "doubt gnaws at our faith" and his friend says back "faith gnaws at our doubts..."
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