Stuck in Black and White Land

My church is hosting a very progressive adult formation class this year. It has been good...stirring up good conversation, etc. But it has made me realize how I still tend to try to see things in Black and White. I try to do otherwise, but I seem stuck. The curriculum for this class is presented in DVD sessions with various scholars being interviewed. On the most recent installment, focusing on incarnation, Spong talked a lot about how we need to do Christology and the church and basically Christianity all over again...give it a good overhaul. I can go with this idea of approaching Jesus from below...really emphasizing his humanity and our humanity. But Spong believes that Jesus was different in degree, not kind. It's so interesting, but just hard for me to go with. I know it was the early councils that struggled with a developing theology and came up with their truth: Jesus was both divine and human. Spong debunks this a little. He believes that there is a continuum and humanity is on one end, and divinity on the other, and Jesus was the most fully human possible. I do like this idea that Jesus showed us our human potential, showed us what it is to be fully human. But what I struggle with is that so much a part of our humanity is our darkness. Yes, we are gorgeous creatures, full of creativity and beauty and potential. But there's a lot else. It's such a huge part of us. Hard to imagine that we were created to be completely devoid of this pain that is such a part of our existence. Ah, but that is the mystery. And in the end, it doesn't really matter what percentage of Jesus was human/divine. But what does the resurrection mean if he was just human? Just a human completely infused with Godself? I know it's semantics, but it makes a big difference. I don't need to believe in the virgin birth. It may have happened. It may not have happened. Regardless, there is great truth in that story. I don't even have to believe in the bodily resurrection. At least I don't think so. There is still great truth that somehow Jesus is still present. Still alive. But walking away from the evening at church, I felt a bit lost as to who God is. Yes, MYSTERY. With a capital M. But as I contemplate becoming a priest...it feels scary not having more of a grasp on where I am. Where God is. etc. But I know this happens in seminary anyway and it's normal and it's a hell of a lot better admitting cluelessness than claiming certainty. shiver. don't want that. It's just that the evangelical folks I'm around a lot are so certain as to doctrine and what you have to believe. It's seductive because what if they're right? And it's so nice to have things that clear. I'm tempted to really explore what feels to me as dangerous and stimulating possibilities. I'm just somewhere in the huge middle. But last night it saddened me because I felt like the evangelical community in which I have a lot of friends, and the community of my progressive church...well...they truly seem like different religions, not just denominations or expressions. And that's sad. Because I want to hope for more unity in the church. There's just a wider spectrum than I ever knew about.