Saturday, March 1, 2008

A Call in the Wilderness

Well...I've slacked off with blog posts again. sigh. I still read others' fairly often, but not as often as I'd like. It's hard to blog when things feel full and muddy. I'm sitting down at my computer attempting to focus my talk I'll be giving next week with Husband. I'm such an odd mixture of fearful and brave. Aren't we all? It's just so funny to me how much fear/anxiety sieze me. I can actually watch it happen...which is a good step. At least I can have some objectivity and humor when I'm seized by it. And that is good. But in considering ordained ministry, in considering being a leader of some kind, I've got to get over this. I think that's why this talk feels so significant. I'll be speaking from that place of fear and uncertainty and discernment. Once I figure out what I'm saying, I'll post the gist of it. Husband is the best. He thinks I'm funny. I wouldn't want to have to plan a talk with me. He's so mellow, go-with-the-flow. Thank God I married him. He took the girls to the farmer's market this morning so I could work on this. Until later..

1 comment:

Iris said...

You're going to do a great job. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself about feeling anxious, unless it's debilitating. I'm suspect of those who are too sure of themselves in pastoral leadership.