Random catch up details of life:
Had a wonderful week on a trip with my family. The girls are seeming older and it is more obvious during traveling.
Feeling that inner warming/nudging again that I associate with "call." It's just this wonderful "sweet unrest" that both gives me peace because it feels like God is near, and tumult because it always feels like I need to act....but in what way...still in discernment and feeling more sure somehow, which feels good. My committee is definitely needing to see some confidence and vision right now. My rector has been so busy and overwhelmed and it's really time for a crucial conversation and I'm having to be very persistent and assertive. Which is good for me but c'mon now!
Speaking at the college was a good experience. I was very nervous and I think it showed, but that's okay. I listened to it and I didn't rush so that's good. It's so interesting how I can get consumed with anxiety. In the end, it wasn't that hard to write and all the energy was used up in anticipation and worry. I assume the more I do this the less scary it will be. Someone gave me some very encouraging words afterwards. Someone I respect deeply. And though it really made me feel good, I don't want to depend on positive words from others to feel good about a talk. That's why I spoke about authenticity and speaking through fear. Cause it's the path I'm on.
Anyway, the girls are suffering from my morning blogging. Got to get them ready. Until later!
3 comments:
Yeah. Glad the speaking gig went well. I used to get so nervous with public speaking, including just reading scripture in church (or seminary) that I would visibly shake...my seminary classmates tried to convince me that it was just the Holy Spirit (LOL) - which was sweet, but not true...just me being nervous. Now that is gone. I preached and presided for 600 people on Easter Day, and was fine...comefortable. In my element. But, it took awhile to get there....so, yes, you will too.
Hope your rector makes time for you soon...conversations with the rector/priest are important.
Welcome back....missed you. Somehow the comment I left on your speech post never appeared, but I am glad it ended up being a good experience for you and that things continue to move forward positively for you.
Revdrkate, thanks for your words. I don't think I ever saw your comment from that post. Oh well! Thanks for checking in with me!
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