Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Timing is Everything (or at least it feels that way)
Help! I thought I had made my decision. When I made it, it was with a "who knows what the future will bring, let's take the bird in the hand (or ministry in the hand)" attitude. But I met with my rector yesterday and he helped clarify some things. He affirmed Husband's pov that it wouldn't be wise to do church leadership and seminary at the same time. This is probably very true, especially with my kiddos being so young. So the question that has arisen is...do I continue the discernment process, the whole kit and caboodle, ending around Spring 2009 and then put off seminary for a few years until I'm ready (and church leadership position is over) OR do I stop the official discernment process now and take the church position and then when I have an actual timing plan for seminary, start the discernment process over at that time. Rector thinks that seminary needs to follow pretty closely after the completion of the discernment process. Granted, Rector tends to be a very inside-the-box thinker. He said, "Make sure, though, that you're not using this ministry opportunity as an excuse to postpone the discernment process." He's right. It's possible I'm doing that. But it's just as possible that it's just what I should be doing and that God is telling me to slow down. And I truly do not know which way to go. I know God will follow me wherever I go. It's that tension I've been living in for a while now: not wanting to put off seminary any longer because it could take me 6 years to complete it (it's a commuter program), but not feeling ready to go. Certainly not feeling ready to have an interview with the Bishop. Yikes! At least I have my discernment committee next week and Rector gave me permission to put off my official decision until then.
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5 comments:
Being "ready" for seminary is kinda like being "ready" to be a mom. If you waited until you felt completely ready, would you ever do it?
I've said it before, the way in which you discuss theology and spiritual matters is more advanced than many first year seminarians. Certainly more than I was. Perhaps even more than me now!
Prayers as you seek God in all of this.
I agree with iris...one is never really "ready" for seminary or ministry....I guess I don't understand why your rector is guiding you the way he is...I guess Christian Formation must be a really time consuming lay ministry...and I really don't understand the manditory 4 year commitment...I mean life does happen...and besides why would they offer this to you and then say what he said?
It seems to me if you are going to seminary part time for six years you should also have a ministry in the church - it will keep you connected to the parish and help you grow in your vocation...I don't get the either or....(I mean we moms are really good at multi-tasking)....
Oh, but I did find seminary easier to do when the kids were in the early years of grammer school...would have been tough in the middle school and high school years...grammer school they have homework at night but they go to bed relatively early and are at school all day...middle school they need a lot of help in all kinds of ways...(just sayin)
Thanks for your words, Iris and Mompriest. Mompriest: the Parish Council offer comes pretty much from the predecessors. The rector isn't so much a part of the decision. Throughout all this, he has stayed distant. It's his style. Whereas it's nice to leave everything up to me, a little mentoring sure would be nice.
I don't get the either/or thing either -- are you sure that isn't a male thing?
(Said by a both/and girl who is in seminary and in a spiritual direction program in two different traditions and spent the last five months doing both of those and finishing a church leadership position. But then my kids are grown. After a fashion.)
Always good to do: take a day or two and imagine that you have made one choice and that it is complete and irrevcocable, then take another day or two and imagine that you have made the other. Live with each one for awhile as though the other were not possible.
Spoken like a true spiritual director, G.G. Sounds like good advice to heed.
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