As I write, my husband is meeting with my discernment committee. This is weird. But so good. Right now, they're all talking about...me. About my deepest dream. Feels scary. And feels right. I'm glad that he has a chance to ask questions, to share honestly about all this. But this is weird to not be part of the discussion...to not hear what everyone is saying is kind of killing me, but I know it's all good.
Tomorrow night we're celebrating our 9th anniversary and I'm surprising him by taking him to a fun camping spot...but not really camping...it's a cool safari-like yurt in a canyon by the beach and they bring you a barbecue kit with chicken and s'mores for dessert that you cook over the fire. Should be fun!! This will be the first time a babysitter stays overnight with the girls. (that is, someone who isn't a grandparent) Hope all goes well.
I need a role model. I mean, I have many many wonderful role models at Revgals, but I crave to know someone who has been in my spot...someone my age with kids the same age. I'd also love to hear other vocations of priesthood that aren't the typical parish priest full time model.
And what exactly does a deacon do? I know that the diaconate is an option, but I am quick to dismiss it because I feel that the priesthood is where I belong, but I can't dismiss it without knowing more. I just don't know any deacons. There aren't any in my church. At least, not that I know of.
Been reading a lot of interesting books lately: How (not) to Speak of God by Peter Rollins. Very interesting. I'm quite intrigued by this whole "emergent conversation". And also What does a Progressive Christian Believe by Delwin Brown. Annoying title, but it's proven to be a good read.
Haven't blogged much. I'm just feeling acutely aware of my shortcomings lately. I know this is growth and that it's okay, but I'm ready to get out of this phase.
5 comments:
role models are so helpful...I hope you find one...the one I found was older than me with kids slightly older than mine, but still wonderful.
Deacons in the Episcopal Church are charged with "bringing the church to the world and the world to the church" (where as priests are "in" the church, not out in the world so much). Deacons always have a ministry outside the church. On Sunday's deacons have specific roles in the liturgy: proclaim the gospel, lead the prayers of the people, give the dismissal - are the primary roles. Deacons usually have a role in parish life that connects to pastoral care or something like that. Deacons do not: bless (whether it be end of the Eucharistic prayer, marriage blessings, water for baptism, etc.., consecrate bread and wine or give absolution after the confession...Read the rubrics and ordination vows in the BCP for priest and deacon, they will help unpack the ministry of each.
have fun on the birthday outting!
The diaconate is a newer concept for Lutherans, but the woman I know who is a deacon serves in social justice work.
The symbol for their ministry is the towel and bowl for foot-washing.
I hope you find a mentor where you are! I think it is helpful to find people to talk to and who you can "see in action."
I think it is harder for women, period. but that is changing.
(((grace-thing)))
I hope the converation your husband had with the board was helpful to him as he navigates this process with you. The anniversay dinner sounds fabulous!
Hey, honey. How'd it go?
Grace-Thing, I got back on my old laptop and "re-found" your blog on my favorites list.
I think you and I are the same age - mid-30s - married and with small kids (although mine aren't really small anymore). And I think I understand what you mean about a role model. What I mean when I say that is, "Someone who has blazed this trail so that I have someone to follow behind...not exactly the same path, but the basic way." I write that, because I also read into your questions about deacons and "what else can priests do" the same questions I have. I am convinced that there is another way; I don't know what it is. When I've expressed this to people who are already ordained, they say, "Well, you could be a college chaplain, or work in a hospital." That's not what I mean, and I don't think it's what you mean.
I'm afraid that's about as clear as mud...but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
I was glad to read about your husband's discernment interview - congratulations!
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